Chapter 48
Namjoon
It was nearing sunset when all the pack had gathered together. We were going to give the final send off to Alex. I could see the look of heartbreak on everyone’s faces.
I looked over at Taehyung who was very quiet. I knew that it wasn’t just grief for him but that he felt guilty. He was shouldering the blame, no matter how much we all told him it was not his fault.
‘I’m worried about him Joonie,’ Jungkook said from next to me. I looked at Jungkook who was biting his lower lip, his eyes fixed on Taehyung. Jimin was holding one of his hands and Alina held onto the other. Yoongi was standing right behind him as well.
‘I am too Kooks, I am too,’ I said with a sigh. ‘He’s dealing with a lot – between Alex getting murdered and him having to kill his father, it’s a lot to handle,’ I said.
‘That * was no father to him,’ Jungkook said, slightly angry. ‘If anything, I admired Taehyung because he showed him mercy, much more than he deserved,’ he said.
‘I agree. He gave him a chance, more than one actually,’ I said as Jungkook nodded.
‘I’m not sure if I would have been able to restrain myself like he did,’ he said.
‘I think a part of him really wanted to show that he was not like him you know? He didn’t murder others for power or revenge. He only killed him to protect Yoongi,’ I said.
‘Exactly. I know he feels guilty but he really shouldn’t be feeling like that,’ Jungkook said. ‘Not about that * anyway and he should not even feel guilty about Alex,’ he added.
‘He might be able to get over killing his father but dealing with Alex’s murder will be harder for him,’ I explained. ‘He feels like since his father targeted our family to get to him, then that is the reason why he was killed,’ I explained.
Jungkook frowned but remained silent as we watched Alina take a step forward. She looked beautiful in a white dress. It was traditional for us – that when one of us dies, the pack members wear white instead of black. It has always been tradition to try and think of this as a celebration of the life that was lived rather than that that was lost.
‘Um hello everyone,’ Alina said. Her voice cracked and she cleared her voice. Taehyung stood right next to her and nodded, giving her the support she needed. ‘Today, we gathered here to say our goodbye to sweet, tender, loving and caring Alex,’ she said.
‘Losing someone is never easy but it’s even harder when that someone is as young as Alex. He was only thirteen and he died protecting me and my family,’ she said as a single tear fell down her cheek.
‘He wouldn’t want me to cry. He’d say noona Luna don’t you dare cry,’ she said with a chuckle. I heard other people chuckling as she said so. ‘He never quite knew what to call me – noona or Luna so he combined the two,’ she said as she licked her lips.
‘Alex was an amazing kid,’ Taehyung said, looking at everyone. ‘He was kind and brave and selfless. He had such a beautiful future ahead of him,’ Taehyung said as Alina took his hand in hers.
‘We owe him a lot, I owe him a lot but the only thing I can do is make sure his memory never dies,’ he said as everyone nodded. ‘As we say goodbye, I ask you all to light up your candle and raise it up,’ he said.
I looked at the candle in my hand and sighed. I took out a lighter and lit it up and then Jungkook lit it up from me. I watched as everyone helped to light each other’s candle. As soon as everyone did, Taehyung looked at her and nodded as she cleared her throat once more and began to sing.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc5s0ULAtc0
‘Go in peace
Go in kindness
Go in love
Go in faith
Leave the day
The day behind us
Day is done
Go in grace
Let us go
Into the dark
Not afraid
Not alone
Let us hope
By some good pleasure
Safely to
Arrive at home.’
Her voice cracks near the end and I feel my heart swell with emotions. Even with all the negative ones of grief and sadness, there was also pride of her being able to do this without breaking down.
She finished her song and put a single white rose on the place he had been buried earlier. Taehyung took a deep breath and followed. I watched as the rest did the same until it was my turn.
‘Rest easy boy. Until we meet again,’ I said as I placed the white rose among the pile. I returned next to my mates as I looked around. The sun had set and the candles continued to burn brightly, like little stars on Earth.
We stood in silence for a few minutes before we all started to head back home. We all settled in the living room, some of us sitting on the couch and some on the floor while Minho and Soraya went to their room.
‘Do you think they will be okay? I never saw them so sad,’ Alina said, worry visible on her face. Jimin was quick to wrap his arms around her, burying his nose in her neck as he gave small kisses and licks.
‘It’s to be expected. Alex was like their big brother. I’m not sure if Soraya really understands but Minho does,’ I said.
‘Not to mention they’re still reeling from what happened yesterday. It’s not something you forget easily,’ Jungkook said.
It wasn’t. You don’t forget seeing your parents hurt. You don’t forget being kidnapped and tied down. You don’t forget being told your mother is dead. You don’t forget seeing your father fight to keep you safe.
‘But they’re strong kids and it might take some time but they will move on,’ Jin said.
‘Yeah, I agree. We just need to help them through it. Be there to wipe their tears and fight off their fears and nightmares,’ Hoseok said, nodding.
‘And not just them, we all went through something traumatic,’ Yoongi said as he looked at Jimin and Taehyung. They both sighed as Jimin seemed to squeeze Alina a little tighter.
‘He’s right,’ Taehyung began. ‘It’s useless to hide our feelings or pretend everything is okay. It’s better,’ he paused, taking a deep breath, ‘it’s better to talk it out together than bottle it up inside,’ he said.
‘And that way, we can overcome this like we overcame everything else in the past,’ Jimin said as we all nodded.